Present Listening with EmRes
You may have heard of active listening like this, but this article is going to dive deep into how present listening relates to EmRes. Present listening revolves around both the listener and the person sharing. Read below to learn more!
The Listener
Present listening can only happen if we are calm and don’t have any tension. If we listen to somebody with tension (stress, frustration, and anxiety) built up, we won’t be able to feel truly present. The first step to changing this, is to accept that we are anxious and to take a second to regroup to become intimate with what is happening inside of us. One way to do this is to go into another room and close your eyes, feel the tension in your body, and feel those sensations as they change. Those sensations will act as a cleansing fire and will change, and eventually abate. Once abated, take about 2 minutes to yourself and head back into the conversation. This time, you can focus on presently listening.
The Sharer
The second aspect of present listening is about the person sharing. We often share our concern from our emotional reaction, like our anger. However, if you are filled with tension, the person you are sharing with will sense that tension. If you want to share something that is important to you and you are expecting present listening from the person you’re with, you must work on creating the best environment. In order to create the best environment for the person in front of you so they can hear what you want to say, you should resolve the tensions in your body first. Before you ever share something meaningful, always make sure to do this and resolve any tensions your body has. If you speak out of anger, the only thing your partner will receive is anger. Their body will subconsciously brace for action, which will not result in present listening.
Present Listening and EmRes
Once you embrace the tensions in your body, the emotion will resolve and won’t come back because disruptive emotional patterns are obsolete predictions from the brain. Then, once the prediction is abated, it doesn’t come back. Every stress or frustration you feel is an opportunity for you to resolve them.The less tension we have in our body, the better we can be heard and the better we can listen. In conclusion, the key of present listening has two sides in a perfect world: The person speaking from their heart with as little tension as possible so that they can speak from a place of integrity, and the person receiving the message should also have as little tension as possible so that they are present, ready, and open to listen to the message being delivered. It’s all about being intimate, responsible, and taking ownership of the emotions inside of us before sharing them to the world so that we can share from a place of congruence and integrity. If you’re interested in learning more about EmRes, click HERE. If you want to watch this video on present listening, click HERE.